Humorous Wedding Speech †Two Best Men -- Wedding Toasts Roasts Speech

Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that are wondering why there are two best men standing up here, it’s perfectly simple. Arthur wanted to appoint a best man for the occasion, but sadly couldn’t find one, so he got two barely competent ones instead. So before I start, let me clarify the ‘role’ situation. Dennis, Arthur’s university friend and very trustworthy, was responsible for carrying the rings in church. I am Steve, Arthur’s childhood friend and very good with lager (beer). I was responsible for organizing the stag weekend (bachelor’s party). We both had the responsibility of getting him to the church on time, smartly dressed and sober†¦ but neither of us could achieve that last part. And, regrettably, we have both been asked to give a short speech. So why does it take two of us to describe the bridegroom? Well, as the man in Moss Bros said, 'There's a lot to fit in'. But you can rest assured that I’ll be keeping my part brief†¦ as I know the other bloke (guy) can drone on for hours! So what can I tell you about Arthur Wilson? He is my oldest friend and I’m convinced that without his guiding hand while we were growing up I would have been half the man I am today†¦ and certainly twice as popular. From an early age we lived a few doors away from each other, so not only did we become great friends we also became great rivals, and obviously ... ...y became trapped in the sticky beer socked carpet, the music was too loud for a conversation and it was pretty dark as well. Everything was in Arthur's favour! Playing hard to get though, Linda tells me it was months before she fell for Arthur. But having witnessed how quickly they progressed to a cat and five kittens, I'm not so sure. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for listening to Steve and myself. If you’re having a fantastic time today - which I’m sure you all are - that’s a direct result of the months of hard work and meticulous planning by Arthur and Linda. They have done an incredible job to make this a truly wonderful wedding, so please all stand as I propose this toast – to the bride and groom.